Sex, Love, & Recovery Coaching Series | How to handle money issues in your relationship

Speaker 1 (00:00):

Welcome to the Dr. Erin podcast. This is a top spiritual psychology coach podcast to inspire and teach you how to transform your trauma, birth, your soul's purpose, and manifest your dreams. Hi, I'm Dr. Erin. Dr. Divinity. I'm committed to bringing you the best coaching tips, spiritual advice, trauma healing, and metaphysical recovery secrets. I'm here to help you monetize your spiritual gifts and love your life. I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are and I believe in you together we're awakening the world. Okay, our next caller is Chelsea. She's in from Denver, Colorado, and we are going to be talking a little bit about financial or money issues within relationship in particular dealing with family and friend issues. So, hi Chelsea, how are you?

Speaker 2 (00:53):

Hi, I'm doing well. Glad to have this time with you.

Speaker 1 (00:56):

Super excited to dive deep into this. So what really helps people out there is to get as detailed as oriented of specific things that have happened so people can totally relate. So what's going on?

Speaker 2 (01:06):

So I was really thinking about this conversation and a lot came up just leading up to it. And then this morning when I was thinking about it, I really came into pivots prosperity and purpose, and those three words kept coming up together, especially in the realm of people pleasing. So that was what was going on, especially people pleasing with friends and family and partnerships and being a parent.

Speaker 1 (01:32):

Okay, great. So if you can get specific around an actual instance that happened, what happened specifically that is an example of a place that you got triggered or a place that you felt like there was financial or money abuse?

Speaker 2 (01:45):

Something that came up specifically last week was when I went to Florida and my mom came and there was something that happened with the rental car where I had prepaid and then she went off and created this other payment later. Then I got charged the next day for a bill of $750. I told her I did pay for the rental car ahead of time. This was something extra. If you had called me up to the rental car place, I could have dealt with this. And the way she kind of responded was she got upset that I brought in my partner to talk about the financials of whether we could cover that right now. So it was interesting just to want to bring him out of it. And then also she's like, well, can't you ask your dad for that money? Which is a really convoluted, deep subject. And I know that that was just a moment. We haven't really talked since that was last week and there's been some moment, and I feel like that's just the tip of an iceberg of a lot of entitlement with finances and cutting out partners and deeper stuff with me and people. Please. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:50):

One, I just want to acknowledge you for recognizing it's much more than just that. That's just a symbol of something much deeper as the healing of your entire family, which I really get your intention here. I can feel it deeply in you. So I know that you do a lot of spiritual work, and so I know that it all comes down to the trauma within our lineage and what's really going on. And so us personally in our own kind of suffering around it, we want people, places and things to be different. We want our mothers to be different. So we have to know, first of all, and this already that it's not about changing them because they may change and they may not change. It's about accepting them exactly where they are and taking full responsibility for our own emotions and our own whatever it is that we're choosing to create in our lives. So it'd be great if you could say, I can sit down with my mom and say, Hey, let's heal our entire family lineage, but most of the time it doesn't work like that. Okay, so let's take a look at, let's pretend that she didn't change at all, but the family dynamics are what they are. Just looking at what meaning and what limited beliefs are projecting into your side of the street. So when she does that, what meaning or what did it make you feel?

Speaker 2 (04:04):

I felt like I was seen as just a product of my dad's money. And that's something I've been combating with for a long time, and I've always really tried to make my own path and I get brought back into this money story, and I also saw a lot of that triangle, that victim, perpetrator, rescuer concept of where I try to rescue my mom and where that's actually created more trauma for all of

Speaker 1 (04:35):

Us. So it sounds almost like you feel like you're being manipulated or used for some type. You're entangled in the effect of whatever's happening between your mom money and your father, whatever. Is that what I'm hearing you say? Yes. Yeah. Okay. I totally get that. I totally get that. And we recognize that all of life is designed for us to awaken to the truth of who we are. So we as divine goddesses stepping into our divine hood instead of our human hood, whether that occurred or didn't occur, we wouldn't necessarily take it personal. We would realize that those are their issues going on. A healed person would come into that situation and be like, man, that sucks that my mom is still manipulating and doing all that, but it really has nothing to do with me and that I choose from this moment to create whatever I want, whether that be making sure that I don't get that car rental before I make sure everyone's deposited their amounts or whatever it is or not tee myself up for the same situation over and over again. It sounds like this has happened multiple times

Speaker 2 (05:37):

And then just to use, well, I bought the ticket, which was a birthday present for me. I wouldn't have done that if I had to cover the car rental too. And so it kind of feels like the gifting and then it's pulling back and the money. And the hardest part about that whole thing is I maybe normally could have rescued her in the past, but because actually I have reached too deep into a lot of my future inheritances with the money to build my yoga studio and all the renovations and buying that building, I actually chose to and with my father too, we just chose to let it be right now, which really helps me for the first time be resilient in my own finances. And the truth is, I'd almost, I mean, I don't want this for the future, but I'd almost rather be broke and sober into my finances and not just continue to rescue my mom or rescue other people and be sovereign about my finances rather than just getting money and not feeling I guess worthy of it and then dishing it out to someone else. So it was just a really big wake up call for my own relationship with finances and family and people pleasing. So there's a lot that I've been juggling in my own mind with that.

Speaker 1 (06:49):

Okay, great. So look, you're highly evolved and just the fact that you can see all that says a lot about all the work that you've done. So it's not like you're a beginner going, I don't see how I'm not the effect of everything. You get that it's all showing up for your growth and showing up for you to remember who you are. So what do we do about this now? Okay, here's the situation. I have some resentment around it. I'm feeling really disjointed from my mother and father and family or whatever it is. I financially am having the effects of all this. So what do we do from here? Okay,

Speaker 2 (07:24):

And tell me.

Speaker 1 (07:25):

Yeah, right. Well, we know it's really the steps of recovery. It doesn't matter if you're in a 12 step or whether you're just doing spiritual recovery, it's all the same work. The foundation of all the work is the same. So the first step, of course is to become aware and decide, powerfully decide, Hey, I'm ready to heal and end this vicious cycle. So are you ready to end the vicious cycle?

Speaker 2 (07:45):

Yes. On New Moon too. So perfect.

Speaker 1 (07:48):

Right? Really though, like girlfriend. Girlfriend,

Speaker 2 (07:52):

And I've been writing my whole story up to this point of just how many times I've pivoted in Covid and everything and the family and it's just like it's all getting up to this moment. I feel it.

Speaker 1 (08:01):

Great. Yeah, I totally feel that. Okay. So the second step we know is reprogramming the subconscious mind because we can try and manage everything and try and do our spiritual practice and all that. That's beautiful and we need to do that deep, deep work. It sounds like you've done a lot of trauma work, but there's still some charge going on. So we need to know is that from past things that have gone on or is this a current thing that's being triggered? So if there's anything from the past that we aren't fully as Zi it like something happened with our mom or dad or situation when we were a kid and we still have resentment or we still feel upset when we think about that, that means it's not fully healed. So we have to take full responsibility for our emotions coming into the present moment. So it means we need to keep people think, well, I've done my trauma work. Well, you've done some trauma work. I mean, it takes a long time to really get in there and go through the whole track of all lifetimes. So my suggestion to you to meet to everybody is to make sure that anything in our past is complete, that we can look at it and say, that wasn't easy, but I'm not getting emotional about it, or I'm not getting reactive about it. So that's first is to fully decide that we are ready to end this vicious cycle. The second is to reprogram the subconscious mind, which all through trauma work, and it means a deep, deep, deep dive into lineage trauma. Next is we want to birth your truth, Chelsea. So what is your truth? And oftentimes these upsets are the perfect thing to say, what is your truth? So what is your truth? Let's pretend that your mother and father and the whole family never changed truth around finances, around who she wants to be in the realm of money and finances when it comes to her family.

Speaker 2 (09:42):

Yeah, it's interesting. My dad has said to me, he's like, if you don't want to be wealthy, you don't have to. And I'm like, that could be the furthest from the truth. I know it's my birthright to be so prosperous and show people that they can truly be prosperous getting in touch with their spiritually divine mission. So that is my truth. I am a coach for sacred scheduling for Sophia Code circles their truth and be well doing

Speaker 1 (10:05):

It. But as far as your family, do you want to show up and be somebody that says, Hey, I'm going to just make sure that I come in and be responsible for my emotions, therefore it means I'm going to make sure everyone's paid money before I do for something, or am I going to be something that comes in and I'm just going to pay for everything. I'm not going to have anything around it. That doesn't mean you should do that, or I'm going to be somebody that doesn't entangle at all with my family with money. Who do you want to be? There's no right or wrong answer. It's what is Chelsea's truth?

Speaker 2 (10:34):

I want to be someone who can come in and, I mean, there's times, there's a time for me to pay. There's a time for my father to pay, there's a time for my mother to pay. And it's, it is really clear, and it's coming from a place of true giftedness if there is a gift being offered,

Speaker 1 (10:52):

But knowing that they don't change, that you're the only one that changes. So if you feel like they should pay, then that means you're controlling them of how? So who does Chelsea want to come in in the finances in this family? Let's pretend they keep manipulating. They pretend they don't change, they pay or don't pay or whatever. Who do you want to be? How are you going to hold your boundaries for yourself?

Speaker 2 (11:12):

Pay for myself, my nanny, my family. I want to come in over the top, financially prosperous, to be able to pay for all the pieces that are involved in any sort of travel that has to do with my business, my coaching, my trainings, support, anyone who wants to support helping me and my family as we make

Speaker 1 (11:34):

Those. And this truth that we birth that is basically lining to our truth. There's ultimate truth, which is there's only abundance in the universe, but there's relative truth to say, Hey, I choose to spend my money how I choose to spend my money. And each person gets that divine. And that relative truth may shift. Maybe right now you're not able to pay for everything with your family, but maybe through faith and faith and hard work, if you will, you'll be able to do that. So that relative truth may change. But the point of having this relative truth is for the boundaries for us to put ourselves, for us to take responsibility around our own emotions. So when I come into my family, say, my family, there's issues with money like yours or something, which there's not, but there's other issues. So let's pretend that's that. I would say, who do I need to be to not have resentment? So that means I'm not going to put something on my credit card, I don't know what the other person's going to do, so I'm not going to do that because then I'm going to set myself up for resentment and animosity and anger. So what is the truth for you for right now to show up fully in your family? Maybe that is pain for everything or maybe that's putting boundaries on that. What is that for you?

Speaker 2 (12:40):

For me, it's just making wise decisions on what I can and can't do based on my financial reality and not putting other people in positions where it could create that.

Speaker 1 (12:51):

Totally get that. Okay. So we've decided we're fully ending these cycles. We're committed to doing our inner work so we can show up as present without anything from the past being dragged in from our perspective. Third is aligning to that relative truth for Chelsea, for her to say, this is my truth and this is how I'm going to take responsibility. So I am responsible for my emotions and I don't want to get upset, so therefore I'm not going to put myself in a position that most likely is going to end me in being upset. And then the fourth step we know is affirming. It's affirming in our daily spiritual practice. So in this right, merging with the divine, merging with the goddess that Chelsea is, right, who do you want to be? Be in the embodiment of who you show up for your family, for your parents in particular, right? For money in particular. Who is it that Chelsea decides powerfully to affirm everyday in your spiritual practice?

Speaker 2 (13:42):

Prosperous. I'm on purpose and I am wealthy, well and healthy and can support the fullness of everything I want to create in this world.

Speaker 1 (13:50):

Beautiful. And who do you want to be when your parents show up? Manipulating and money.

Speaker 2 (13:54):

I want to feel really sovereign in everything I'm already creating and that I can make those without feeling manipulated at all.

Speaker 1 (14:03):

Right. Okay. So this is the practice, daily practice and for us to have support and have a daily spiritual practice to remember our commitment for our sovereignty, for who we want to be, for our commitments of our boundaries. And then what I suggest is at the beginning of the day, you go over these daily spiritual practice and who you want to be in the embodiment. And at the end of the day, I suggest that you go and you take inventory. Did I show up in my sovereignty or did I react? Did I hold my boundaries or did I put myself in a position that was basically not taking responsibly for my emotions? And we want to make amends to ourselves and to others each day so that when we put our head to the pillow, we can know that we grew today, that we did the best, and that we ask for our highest self, for us to step fully into the goddess and divine woman that we've always desired to be. Not for anybody else, but for our own dignity and our own strength. How does that sound? Sounds great. Amazing. So what would you like to declare today beyond what you already said? Let's do a spiritual mind treatment together, and I'm just honored to be here with you today, and I know all this is sometimes fluffy in that it's easier said than done, and that's why we call it a practice. So what would you like to declare into the universe, into your subconscious mind, into the divine mind that is one with your parents right now,

Speaker 2 (15:18):

I declare that I have a beautiful and also sovereign relationship with my family and in my relationships, and I commit to showing up for my daily spiritual practice every day to create that

Speaker 1 (15:34):

Beautiful. So let's take a deep breath together. Take a deep breath. I'm just recognizing the perfection of universal law. I'm recognizing that everything is out picturing with perfection for Chelsea that every last drop of life is showing her where her mind is divided, where she is not using it in the righteousness of knowing that she can never be the effect of anything, that she's a creator of. Everything that I recognize, wherever her parents are, that that is a part of who she is. She is her parents and her parents are her. They're one. And the only divisive thing in mind is through the mental universe. And so I know that this is the universe surfacing to have her remember who she is. She's the one she's been waiting for. She's the sovereign. She's the ending of all vicious cycles. She is the parent and the child. She is that she is the I am that I am. And in this I say thank you for this breakdown for the breakthrough. Thank you for demanding Chelsea to come back home to truth every single day and every breath and every single way. Thank you for the divine communities that we all have to support ourselves in knowing truth. Thank you so much. I declare by the power of my word, the freedom of Chelsea to step up into the highest highest of her divine goddess right here, right now. It is done as together we say. And so it is. So it is. And so it is. Thank you so much. So many people are going to love to hear this because we've all gone through that, especially with money. For sure. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1 (17:04):

Thank you for tuning into the Dr. Erin podcast. If you're ready to reprogram your subconscious mind, transform your trauma and birth, your soul's calling, or if you're ready to become an accredited, certified spiritual psychology coach and E4 trauma method facilitator, and get trained in spiritual psychology, universal law, intergenerational trauma, work, past life, regression work, metaphysics, and mind, and so much more, go to soul soulciete.com or DrErin tv if you're receiving value from the show. I would love it if you share it with a friend and give it a five star review. Have a beautiful day, and may you live your truth.