E4 Trauma Method™ | Relationships, Dysfunctional, Codependency [Trauma Series]

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This is live from Los Angeles. Welcome to the Dr. Aaron show. We're all about manifestation transformation and breakthroughs. It's time to claim your birthright of prosperity, vitality and love. So grab your tea, coffee, because together we're awakening the world. May you live your truth?

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Are you somebody that deals with ups and downs in your relationships? Maybe you're somebody that's in a little bit of a tug of war. Maybe you really want your partner or your non-partner to change. You wish somebody would be, or do a little bit more. Maybe you're actually co-dependent and you are in a vicious cycle of where it's actually really, truly impacting your health, your wealth and your entire life. What I know for sure is that nine outta 10 people in America are dealing with codependency at some level after training and developing all kinds of people around the globe. It was a surprise when I realized that nine outta 10 of people were dealing with some level of codependency. So welcome to the doctor Aaron podcast. Today, we're gonna break on down E for trauma method and how it relates to relationships. It's really fascinating because, and go on social media and you go on different, um, pages of quotes and things like that.

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The pages that actually do the best are the ones that are dealing with relationship issues, because for a majority of human beings, we're driven by, you know, love and connection. Of course, we all want love and connection, and it's really challenging and difficult and heartbreaking when our relationships aren't working. So whether you're dealing with co-dependency with a partner or your, you know, husband or wife, or maybe it's co-dependency with a parent or a child, or maybe you're really struggling with your friendships and, um, and being able to have close relationships. The reality is that if you're a human being, you struggle at some level with relationships. And if you are the average person, you're struggling a lot with relationships. So it's really fascinating cuz our world out there and, um, and movies. I remember being in my twenties and oh man, I was so codependent.

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I was so codependent. I remember I was in a relationship and, and it was such an up and that we'd break up, we'd get back together. We were up and down. And I remember there was this moment and I was like, I had been thinking if he just changed, then everything would be okay if, you know, if, if he would just do X, Y, and Z, then everything would be better. I was completely thinking that it was all him and it had nothing to do with me. I was perfect, nothing wrong with me. He was the problem. If he, you know, changed his behavior, um, then everything would work out. Right? And I have this moment, I was staring myself in the mirror and I was in this leadership program. Um, and that day at the program, the, the, the leader, the, the person that was giving the seminar was talking about how he had been married.

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And he looked at himself in the mirror one morning and he thought, if I don't change something, I'm gonna end up getting divorced. He was in a marriage and his marriage was, was not, you know, at the place where I was gonna get a divorce, but it wasn't going well. They were having fights. They were having upsets. They were doing all kinds of stuff. And he realized that it was just a matter of time, whether it was a year from now, whether it was four years from now, whatever it was that he, if he didn't change himself, he was most likely going to get a divorce. And he had a conversation with himself in that moment. And he realized like, look, if I'm gonna get divorced, probably anyway, those are the odds I might as well give it my hundred percent. So he decided that day, when he looking in the mirror, that he would give it a hundred percent, that he would no longer look to change her or look to, you know, see where she was doing anything wrong, that he would show up a hundred percent cleaning the house, all entertainment, all financial, everything that they were having arguments around, he decided he would be, he would show up a hundred percent and at least he'd be able to live with himself.

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If he got a divorce, he would know that he at least gave a hundred percent. So he began to show up a hundred percent and sure enough, his wife began to show up a hundred percent. Also. He no longer pointed the finger of making her wrong. He always just, you know, told her all the amazing things about her and sure enough, she began to show up fully being engaged and no longer making him wrong either. And that day, after that day in that leadership program, I went home that night and I was looking at myself in the mirror and I realized that my entire life, I had been the reflection of my relationships. If someone was a jerk, I'd be a jerk. If someone was loving and kind, I'd be loving and kind. But I was the reflection. I was the reaction. I was the effect.

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And I realized in that moment that I no longer wanted to be mirroring my relationships. I wanted to be the cause I wanted to be what was reflecting out of the mirror. Instead in my relationships, I had been in dysfunctional relationships my entire life, because my mother was very codependent. She basically would be ups and it would be ups and downs. If she was in a relationship at first, it'd be like, she'd be all happy high energy. Everything's blissful as if she was like on some kind of a drug. And then as soon as it was going bad or the breakup she'd be down in the dumps and be in bed and couldn't get outta bed, it was a pity party. Then it was a massive party. It was ups and downs. It was literally like someone who was, you know, know a drug addict.

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It was, it was a bipolar, it was ups and downs. And no, my mom's not bipolar. But the point is, is the behavior of codependency is a nightmare for my mom, for me, for every single person that I was witnessing in it. And so in that day I decided I was no longer going to be the mirror of life. Right. But a decision without the actual work <laugh>, didn't get me anywhere. In fact, it made it worse because then what happened is I went back into life and I began to want to be somebody who wasn't wasn't reacting. I wanted to be somebody who was loving, no matter what somebody else was doing. I wanted to be the person that I wanted to be. I wanted to be that amazing empowered woman, but guess what I wasn't able to be. Instead. I remember, um, getting into the next relationship, right.

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And I was a hot mess. Right. I would be upset when they didn't show up how I wanted them to show up. They would send a text that I didn't like, and I would wait for the text and I'd have anxiety that they weren't texting. Um, I would send mean texts. I would get upset. Then when it was great, I would put them my entire universe. I would lose track of all my friends and family. It was literally like being a heroin act. Right. I would just get completely into it and then slam down out of it. When my life wasn't working anymore, sometimes I was better. And sometimes I was really worse, but bottom line I realized, and I was like, wow, this is not gonna change until something changes. Right. I began to go to codependency like, um, 12 step programs. And that was cool.

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I began to see the actual vicious cycle, but still I was not able to actually change the actual reactions, the actual, um, behavior. I knew how I wanted to act, but I didn't know how. And so that brings me to the E four trauma method. So E four trauma method, as you guys know in this series, and this is a series that the intention of the E four trauma method is to release the limited beliefs and commands within your subconscious mind and restore your true identity. You are an all powerful, all knowing eternal, spiritual, being with the ability to create your dreams into reality, you have the ability to create amazing relationships. The E four trauma method helps to no longer be reactive triggering, like getting triggered or feel like you're the effect of life. It helps restore your freedom of choice and to live your truth.

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So here I was here, I was, as you know, someone who finally realized I was, I didn't even know that I was codependent. I just thought that I was, you know, the victim of every relationship, right? If they were different, if they changed, if they did this, then I wouldn't have to be, you know, a bitch then I wouldn't have to be, you know, whatever it is. So the point is, is that I had a gap. I had a gap between who I was being and who I wanted to be. And E four trauma method was the answer. So I began to go into the trauma trauma of the past upsets and incidences that had happened in my past relationships. The traumas that had happened, um, on my DNA, epigenics from past lifetimes. And I began to neutralize all of the things, releasing what I really had PTSD, cuz I was in a really dysfunctional relationship.

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As you guys know, a lot of you guys know my story around being, um, engaged with a, a famous rock star. And, uh, he was a alcoholic and drug addict and would, you know, fall off the wagon and um, you know, cheat on me and, and then come back with tattoos all over his body saying that he loved me and wanted to marry me and, and start to get sober. And then as soon as I would, you know, we'd start to heal, then he'd fall off the wagon again. And so I always thought it was him and he was causing all of it and doing everything. But it wasn't until I realized that a healthy person wouldn't have even stayed in that, in that situation, a healthy person would've loved themselves enough to see the first red flag and know that it was, it was dysfunctional.

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So the point is, is that working in society, new thought global and society, you know, training and developing coaches. What's fascinating is that actually the number one reason that that people aren't having success in their business is because of their codependency. I'll say it again. The number one reason why people aren't, um, having success in their business, of course it's trauma. Okay. That's the number reason, but out of the trauma, the number one biggest traumas that are holding people back is because their relationships are roller coasters. They're up, they're up and down. They're not able to show up consistently and in their personal and professional life and they're co-dependent so they're, they're emotionally, um, getting all their energies going towards their relationships, whether it be they're upset about, you know, a breakup or whether they're upset with their partner. The reality is that our culture tells us that if we just get married or if we just find a partner that everything's gonna work out and the reality and the stats are that I believe it's only, I think it's only 10% of don't quote me, cuz I don't have the stat.

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Exactly. But it's something like this 10% of marriages only, I'm sorry, only 15% of marriages are happy. Half the time. That's the sta only 15% of people who are married are happy half the time. The point is, is that no relationship can be a higher source. The moment that we hand our power over to a relationship is the moment that we will be disempowered. No person can ever be there fully for you. They're human in their own sense. They have their own trauma. They have their own stuff. They have to deal with that. The moment that we are putting our stability and our, our, our love, our self worth, our confidence, our stability in a relationship is we're gonna be totally disempowered. It's gonna be a roller coaster. And so we recognize that the core work to do in any relationship in all your relationship is your own trauma work.

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And in fact, I have people come to me for, for coaching, for, um, you know, spiritual counseling and they're, you know, sometimes they're single, sometimes they're in relationship. And I, when I first had couples come to me and I wasn't in a marriage, right. And I was like, well, I can't, you know, work with couples that are, you know, that want couple counseling. But then I was like, yes, hello. Absolutely. Because the thing is, I don't do couple counseling. I never work with two people at the same time. I work with them as individuals, just as I'd work with somebody. Who's not in a relationship because the work is identical. The work is identical. Doing trauma work is imperative. So what do we do? Trauma work is really, as you guys know, is, is relative for each person, right? And we have moments in our trauma where we have high states of negative experiences.

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Whether it be that you had a breakup, whether it be that your parents got divorced, whether it be that you got raped, whether it be whatever it is or you were bullied on the jungle gym in elementary school, the point is in that high state of a negative state of emotion, we decide something it's called a command. I'm not enough. You know, people are mean I can't trust anyone, whatever that might be. And that command plays out over and over again. And through the neurological system, ally, the subconscious mind has to collapse everything together. So every time you're in a relationship, those commands come up. I'm not enough. You know, I can't trust anyone, whatever it is and the universe just says. And so it is so a lot of times people will project in the relationships, right? Like it's a, self-fulfilling prophecy. We see it over and over again.

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So for example, um, I change the name of people that I work with, but there's a girl named Sarah and she is married and she's actually, she was doing counseling, uh, you know, spiritual coaching and therapy for families. And yet her marriage was still completely codependent. She was ups and downs. They were getting in arguments. She was getting triggered and actually like almost in complete rage at times. And she had done so much work. Like she was so frustrated cuz she's like, she felt like a hypocrite. She felt like she had imposter syndrome. She's like here I am, you know, know doing therapy for families. And I'm in a totally dysfunctional marriage. And my children are seen our, our fights and she's like, I like that. I can't live like them. I have to figure someone out. And that's why she began to do the E four trauma method and began neutralized all the stuff.

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And what she realized was it was actually in her lineage, her parents too had been codependent and so on and so forth. So she began to work on all the trauma in her lineage and began to neutralize it and through the E four trauma method, which step one is, is experience it. So she would go into different traumas that happened in this lifetime and past lifetimes begin to really just fully re-experience it. And the step two, and this is a process you go over and over again in the four steps, second step she began to, she would not evaluate it. So E for evaluation, non evaluation, she would go back into the traumatic incident, just be with it fully, without any backstory, without me any meaning around it, without anything, knowing that if you put meaning around it, you'll begin to re have recharge around it and re emotions around it and everything.

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Right? So she began to reexperience it in the process. Third was emotions. She was able to fully feel the emotions without any, any meaning, again, around it, just having fully feeling it without suppressing the emotions without resisting the emotions as the Vata say, just fully feeling and expressing the emotions. And then the fourth E is enlightenment. She began to get the wisdom out of it and realizing that this is really truly what her purpose was that she had. She had decided that love is a struggle. That everything is, is really hard. Love is a struggle. And so that, that command played out in her marriage. It played out with what she was doing. Even with couples. She was calling in couples that are just committed to struggling, that everything was in that perspective. And that that veil of life love is struggle. Right? And she began to have the enlightenment out of it.

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She went through the processes and over different, uh, traumas and came to realize and declare that love was beautiful and freeing. And so slowly, she was able to stay in her marriage and allow her husband to be who he was with his imperfections, with things that she didn't like. But she had to recognize that he was on his own path and that she had to find her own piece in the marriage and began to be able to call in clients that we're really committed to, to being able to accept their partners exactly as they are and recognize that it's not about figuring it all out together, but it's really about acceptance. And so I know that whether you are struggling in relationship or whether you're thinking that someone's gonna complete you, or whether you are truly in dysfunction, maybe even domestic abuse, whatever that is, I recognize we're all.

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If we're human nine outta 10, people are codependent. So first of all, I want you to know that it's normal. That it's actually really normal. If you've come into this lifetime, you've come into a DNA that most likely has is to code have been it right? You have all the identity and all of the trauma and everything's coming down your lineage. And I want you to know that the great thing is when you do your E four trauma method, when you transmute that energy, all those traumas, all that suffering, all that heartbreak, everything that something's gonna happen. Do you know that the number one cause of of death is heart attacks is heart issues, heart disease, it's heart disease. Okay. From a spiritual perspective, it's actually from heartbreak. Okay. How many of us feel like we're sad and how much does that affect our health?

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Because we didn't, we don't have love cause we're not even able to have it or because we're heartbroken because, or even maybe even someone transitioned and we're, we still cannot release knowing the truth. And the truth is love is eternal. Whether you, you know, can't be with somebody because they're that different, their goals are different. That it's trauma, it's trauma. It trauma causes the heart disease from a spiritual perspective. Okay. And I know that science is gonna prove this. I am here to state from a spiritual, you know, as a spiritual leader, as a doctor divinity, that I know the truth. I know what causes. And there's only one first cause and its consciousness, it's spirit. It's source. It's your true self. And in that, the body is just a reflection of what's happening spiritually and heart disease. Some people say no it's because we, you know, eat bad fats and I'm sure that plays into it.

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But actually what happens is it's the heartbreak, it's the heartbreak of also what we're doing to the planet, the heartbreak of what we're doing to the animals. It's heartbreak of love. That's what's causing the heart disease and this planet. And so I know that all of us desire, love and connection. That's who we are. We, we desire, love and connection. We are love, we are connection. We are unity. But so if you're asking right now, how are you truly gonna heal your relationships? How are you gonna heal that relationship with your mother or father? How are you gonna heal the relationship to actually be able to have friends in your life that you just don't sabotage and make wrong? How are you gonna heal your relationship with yourself? Because guess what? All of life is a relationship. And so all of life that comes down to being able to neutralize all those commands that are playing out that are divided, that make you always make people wrong.

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What if you no longer had to make anyone wrong? What if you were able to love people unconditionally and place healthy boundaries? What if trauma is the key? So when we take a look at that trigger, because I don't know about you, but when I was codependent, I'd have something happen and it'd trigger me. It was like, I couldn't even, I went into my reptilian brain and I couldn't even control myself from sending a text or saying, you know, you're a jerk or whatever. It may be reacting, getting upset, taking everything too personal, needing to, you know, be validated by somebody putting my source and my power outside of myself, into my relationship. All of that came down to me doing my own trauma work, to neutralize the mental pictures, to take back my power and know the truth of who I am, because the truth is you're an almighty, spiritual being.

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And that trauma is really the, the place for you to neutralize. So you can make a new declaration. So right now it's time to make a new declaration of who you're committed to being in the realm of relationships. Who do you wanna be? Do you wanna be unconditionally loving and somebody that's able to place healthy boundaries? Do you wanna be somebody that does not abandon people? Do you wanna be somebody that is able to love without needing it to return exactly from the exact person, right? Who do you desire? And you get to decide that don't let me tell you what you declare for yourself, but I want you to take some time to think about what you declare for yourself and in that, how willing, how much do you want that? How much do you want to be the highest version of yourself when it comes to love and relationships and how are you gonna get there?

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And so whether you get involved with society and new thought global and do E four trauma method to release your, your, your false identity, your false belief, your commands, all those division in your soul, all the triggers, all the upsets, everything. Even if you do it with us or not, I want you to really consider doing your trauma work E four trauma method. The difference between E four trauma method and other trauma method is that most trauma methods will release the actual charge or trigger. But E four trauma method takes it to further into steps that help you bird the wisdom out of it. Trauma minus emotions equals wisdom. You would never have gone through that. Codependency that break up that heartbreak. If there wasn't a wisdom to come out of that true self love wisdom to help other people, the takeaways out of that, all that your purpose in calling your purpose and calling is born out of the E four trauma method.

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You have gone through the suffering you've gone through because you chose it at a spiritual level. Whether it be a rape, whether it be whatever, yes, you may have been a victim in that, but as spiritually chose, because you are one with everything, you are the perpetrator and you are the victim. You are all that so that you can bur something and a, and a leave a legacy and, and bring the wisdom to help others who are struggling with that exact same thing. So I know that if relationship goal, the ultimate relationship goal is to be love is to know that you are unshakeable as Abraham hick says, be unseeable accountable. Imagine you are so clear in your confidence and you are so loving that, you know, you are love that even if someone cheated or transitioned and died, that you know, the truth of who you are, that you know, the truth of who they are, that nothing can shake you.

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I just say, may you know the truth of who you are, which is love, may you heal your codependency, may you heal your dysfunctional relationships, may you know the truth of every single one of your family members and your friends in all of life, and be able to love unconditionally and place healthy boundaries. There's another podcast on, on creating healthy boundaries. You can go down and, and find that one. But this one is specifically for how trauma is impacting your ability to have healthy relationships. Trauma is the key. If someone comes to work with me and pays me a hundred thousand dollars to work with me, one on one E four trauma method is the core work that we'll do. It is the biggest shift that we have I have for clients. And that it is the number one thing within new thought global and society that we train our coaches and our practitioners to facilitate.

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We have a lot of other processes that, that support and develop all of it. But E four trauma method is the game changer. It is the secret to the secret. It is the key. It is a missing factor of everything of enlightenment. You can be totally enlightened and be outta body, but you've gotta deal with the body. You've gotta deal with the charge at a subconscious level. You've gotta deal with the, the charge on your DNA, the epigenetics, you've gotta deal with that and how that is done through E four trauma method. And so I just say, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I am so grateful to do this work as together we say. And so it is so, um, if you have somebody, you know, that is in a dysfunctional relationship, which is probably majority of your friends, or has a struggle, always making people wrong, um, you know, getting upset whether they're single or in a marriage or whatever trauma is the core work that all of us need to do. Okay. So have a beautiful day. You can check us out@soulsociety.com, S O U L C I E t.com new.global. And you can find me Dr. aaron.tv across all social media and that's D R E R I N, dot TV. Have a beautiful day. And may you live your truth?

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